Breathe deep. Plant my feet firmly on this beautiful Earth. Feel my heart open. Allow grief, loss, relief, gratitude, to one by one wash through my being. Today, October 20th, marks the 12th anniversary of my first breast cancer diagnosis. I am still alive. I am healthier than I have perhaps ever been. My attitude is positive and my outlook is hopeful.
Despite nearly hitting the wall of death multiple times, I am still here, alive and well. My time in this human form, to learn and grow, is not done just yet. There are still days when I wonder if I’m doing exactly what I am meant to do. I question if I am using my time wisely. I doubt myself.
Then, I take a deep breath. Yes, I am indeed a big fan of intentional breathing! And I center myself, and the wondering and doubting fade. I deeply trust myself, and my connection to Great Spirit. Curve balls never stop coming and the secret to surviving the curve balls that seem to fly with the speed of light with the force of tons, is trusting, connecting and breathing. Seems simple, right?
I know it is not simple. I’ve got 51 years on this Earth in this body, and one of the gifts of aging is wisdom. Slowly and surely I’ve learned to listen closely, first of all to myself. Then to the people I’ve chosen to love and have close to me. Listening requires quiet and intention. Learning how to meditate and enjoy my own company taught me how to listen more clearly, more openly. The gift of listening is to trust the messages that arrive.
Listening early this morning, I thought about the yellows, reds, and oranges of the autumn leaves fluttering against the crisp blue sky, on my walk with my dog Echo. I heard the message to trust abundance. Trust that my days of financial tightness and poverty are closing. I felt my energy loosening. I felt the smile rise from my toes! So much better than puking from my toes, which I had the pleasure (not) of doing during that first round of cancer treatments.
Grateful I keep finding my way. Grateful that love finds it’s way to surround me. Grateful I keep finding ways to give and receive. This is how to celebrate 12 years!
Thanks for reading and for being in my life!
Please leave a comment, I love hearing from you!
Such wisdom: listen and trust. I enjoyed reading this, thank you Mari for sharing your story, wisdom and experience with us. Love you!
Thank you SO much dear Ara Jo! Having your wisdom and friendship has made such a beautiful and positive difference in my life! Love you too!
Mari
Mari
Congratulations! Bless you! Thank you for sharing your story! Continue to be strong!
Sue
Thank you so much Sue!!!
Mari
Grateful for you Mari! You inspired me years ago at the Tour de Cure Phoenix and you continue to inspire me with your hard work (life is hard), your openness to share your story and your gifts that you choose to share with each us!! Be Well. Breathe Deeply. Live Well. Continue or Inspire.
Adeline,
You are so kind! Thank you for your beautiful words!
Mari
Mari,
Sharing your truth, your journey, your soul spaces are a true gift. The gift you have with words written in the telling, yes, but the gift in the giving of hope to others who have also been living with, dancing to the chaos and finding the way to live with cancer. Thank you.
Cj,
I’ve known you for so many years and met you that first time at the Danskin triathlon, in the pre-race Survivor meet up!! You are a dear and a joy! And you totally get it! Thank you!
Mari
I LOVE YOU MARI. I love your grit. I love your smile. I love your courage. I love your tenaciousness. I love your writing skills. I love your enthusiasm. I love the way you show us all your inspiring ways of living from the inside out! Rock on sister!
Damiian,
You are so kind and dear and you have a beautiful way with words! I’m very lucky to have you in my life!!!
Big LOVE!
Mari