Today is the shortest day and the longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere. Today has been known as the Winter Solstice for many, many years. I love today! It is the return of the sun!!! And I love the sun!
To celebrate, I went to Underneath It All to get three new bras and a new fake boob. I also am meeting with a lawyer to proceed with a big forward movement in regards to my financial life. Then I’m going to a Kettlebells & Bikes class at the YWCA. Then, upon the suggestion of my dear friend in California, I am attending a teleseminar with Sally Kempton called The Light that Shines in Darkness: Practices for Staying in the Heart During Challenging Times.
Today is a beautiful and full day full of actions requiring courage and action. My strategy is to stay grounded and positive all day.
Yesterday an interesting thing happened. I came upstairs to start breakfast and on the counter was a bowl my brother and his wife had given me some years ago. I nearly daily eat fruit or veggies from this lovely little bowl. My housemate had accidentally broken the bowl. She left the bowl and a note with a deep apology on the counter. That’s what I found.
I instantly broke into tears. Due to the learning I gained through doing Holotropic Breathwork training with Stan Grof & Kylea Taylor, I allowed myself to go deeply into the sadness. I cried HARD. Then I felt a wave of pure anger. I allowed that emotion too. In fact, I stomped around the house swearing and yelling. I scared Echo I was raging so much!! Thank goodness no one was home but me!
What I’ve learned is that the key to self-compassion and success with emotion management is to fully experience the emotion. Stan would say, “Really feel it!” In essence, there is no way around emotions or difficulty. The only way is THROUGH. That is what I committed to in my resolutions and goals for 2017, that I would feel my emotions and allow myself to move through them, especially my fears.
After feeling my sadness and my anger about the bowl breaking, I felt my whole being calm down, and I realized my reaction to the bowl breaking was WAY out of proportion to the event. That caused me to consider, “what was I projecting onto the broken bowl?”
I reflected and realized I am still feeling residual sadness and anger about not spending the holidays with my family. I live a grand total of 5 miles from members of my family and I will not spend any of the holidays with them. I am not invited to do so. If an invitation was extended, I would refuse the invitation. Nonetheless, I still have emotions of sadness and anger about it.
I am glad that I allowed myself to FEEL the emotions. My being is big enough to feel whatever needs to be felt. I am an adult now and I am not in danger. I am safe now. I have family of choice, and I will spend holiday time with those family. Love exists, and in meditation, I will feel my connection and belonging.
I wish for all of us Love and Light and connection and belonging.
Happy Solstice to All!