How I Celebrate Love on Valentine’s Day — Alone and Not Alone

At almost 61, I’m still open to love — but I no longer wait for it to validate me.

Here we are again, Valentine’s Day. I’m not a big holiday person, never have been. Likely because my childhood was complicated and difficult, and holidays usually left me feeling confused, left out, and disconnected — in stark contrast to how I thought they were “supposed” to feel.

I’ve not been in a romantic relationship in many, many years. I never had much fascination with marriage, but I did think that by age 60 I would have found my soul mate and best friend with whom to spend my free time and nights. That has not yet happened. Several times I’ve given up hope that it would ever happen. There were seasons of complete love despair.

As luck and life would have it, I happen to be an ever hopeful love optimist. Despite those random moments of love despair, I haven’t lost all hope. I’m a few months away from turning 61, and I know life can shift on a dime. Who knows, I could fall madly in love any moment. Should that happen, I’m ready. 

In the meantime, I keep working on loving myself. After all, who can love me if I don’t first and deeply love and accept myself? Turns out this loving and accepting of oneself is a bit of a project, especially for any of us who grew up in families not feeling loved and connected, as was the case for me. 

In honor of Valentine’s Day 2026, I made a list of the actions that show me I love, accept, and cherish myself. In the spirit of connection and belief that sharing may help others, I offer my list to all here reading this post. 

If you do something that shows you that you love yourself, please share it in the comments. Let’s all share our self-love actions!

Self Love Shows Up Like This on a Solo Valentine’s Day

🌷 Fresh Flowers & Candlelight

I keep colorful, beautiful flowers on the table where I eat my meals. Nearly every day, I light candles before I eat. I notice the colors, the freshness, the candlelight, and all of it causes me to smile and remember that I deserve this beauty. 

🧘‍♀️ Meditation & Inner Listening

I’ve meditated daily since around 2000. On Insight Timer, I currently have a 1304-day uninterrupted streak. Since learning how to meditate with Jack Kornfield, I realized that taking a few minutes every day to focus on the present moment, to breathe into how I am doing, to feel my connection to myself and to spirit shows my deep inner Self that I am valuable. This time spent daily brings me back to myself. Since learning about Internal Family Systems, IFS, I use some of my meditation time to hold space for all the many aspects of myself. In these moments, I’ve learned how to slow down and be kind to all the ways I am inside. This practice has slowly and surely brought me home to myself.

🐾 My Dog, Sam

I spend time looking into Sam’s eyes every day. I also walk him about 10,000 steps every day. Being out in nature with Sam takes care of him — and it takes care of me. Sam reminds me on days I’m not sure if I’m connected, that I AM connected. Plus, eye gazing with an animal releases oxcytocin — a powerful hormone that helps with emotional regulation, bonding and stress.

💪 Moving My Body

I love that I’ve learned to love exercising. I love running, swimming, walking and biking the very best. Strength training has also entered my love space. I make time every single day to exercise. I feel strong. I feel powerful. I feel healthy. Loving exercise has taught me how beautiful my body is, even if I don’t meet Hollywood’s beauty ideal. 

Today I went on a 10-mile run. It was glorious! It helped that the sun was out and here in Minnesota we are having a mid-February heat wave. 

🍲 Cooking with Care

Ultra processed food is not good for any of us. I’m grateful I discovered I enjoy cooking. I love finding new recipes and I use cooking time as a chance to charge the food with love. As a result, I cook and then eat food that feels like love.

🧸 Comforting My Inner Child

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve loved stuffed animals. During the years I was healing from childhood sexual abuse, stuffed animals helped me comfort my inner child before I had a dog in my life. Currently, I have 3 small stuffed animals – a black bear, a white unicorn and a blue dragon. During the night, when I feel alone and unconnected, cuddling with one of these little stuffed animals reminds my inner child, and me by extension, that it’s okay to cuddle and feel connected. Stuffed animals feel especially Valentine’s-y to me!

📚 Reading as Celebration

I love reading. I love words on the written page. All kinds of reading. It’s one of my favorite ways to spend a few hours. It’s a wonderful way to celebrate my brain and to relax at the same time. 

🌳 Touching Trees

I love trees. Really love them. Every day for the past two years, I’ve touched at least one tree — palm to bark. I thank the tree for all it does to help our planet. I ask the tree to remind my body how to fully heal from the cancer I still have. I ask the tree to take the cancer out of my body and transform it to something harmless. I again thank the tree. 

🤝 Friends: The Love I Rebuilt

It intrigues me that friends are listed last. In part, that’s because having friends took me a while to figure out. Having a biological family that I learned early wasn’t reliable or trustworthy, meant trusting friends fell to the wayside too. I paid a deep price for not trusting or relying on friends. 

I realized after my suicide attempt in 2013 that friendship was something I could repair. I brought it to my therapist at the time and over about five years, I worked to unravel and heal my beliefs about friendship. Slowly and surely I finally trust my circle of friends. 

And just like that, I celebrate Valentine’s Day as a single woman — rooted in love. Wherever you are and whoever you are with or not with, I wish you a beautiful day and evening filled with love too. 

Keep loving yourself. You are worth every bit of self-love. 

Like I said earlier, I’d love to read what you do to remind yourself you are loveable and good. Please leave a comment.

Thanks!

And because I love myself, I have space inside me to love you too